Tangled memories
by Tomoe2
Summary: Kenshin's son faces his father's past and secrets. Sequel to "Forgotten Ties"
1. Chapter 1

This is the sequel to "Forgotten Ties." Please look it up!

Chapter 1

Bearer of sad news

Kenji sat on a bench outside his master's hut. On the ground at his feet lay a sheathed sword. It was a beautiful weapon. Although the hilt and scabbard were quite simple, the craftsmanship was of undeniable quality. A superior sword. But most of all, with its reversed blade, a useless weapon. Kenji did not dare look at the sharp blade but he knew without even a glance what he would find. Cold steel, as cold has the heart of the man who had yielded it. The boy of fifteen didn't want this katana. He didn't want anything to do with it. Yet, he had been unable to refuse it when Yahiko had given it to him. Then again, the man was like a brother to him and he could hardly deny him anything. Or so he had thought until yesterday. For although he had taken the sword he had categorically refused to go back to his home in Tokyo.

"Your mother is very sick and your father still hasn't come back. Megumi thinks Kaoru will hold until Kenshin comes back, but she could easily..." Yahiko had stopped mid-sentence, unable to voice the inevitable.

Yahiko loved Kaoru like a mother, a sister and a friend. He owed her his life, or so he said. Kenji also loved his mother more than anything else, but the thought of seeing his father had hardened his will to remain in Kyoto. He had refused to follow Yahiko, who had returned to Aoiya alone.

Now Kenji couldn't stop staring at the sword, hatred filling his heart. He had heard of his dad's deed and could not deny that the man had sacrificed much to bring peace and happiness to this world, but Kenji wished, deep down inside, that Kenshin had given him and his mother a share of this happiness. The samurai had rarely been home during the last ten years, leaving his mother waiting and worrying. Kenji hated the man. He hated his father and hoped with all his heart that he had died at sea during one of his trips. He did not wish to see him again. Ever.

"What are you doing there? Shouldn't you be training?" asked a manly voice.

Kenji lifted his head to see his master, Hiko Seijuro. No matter how many time he looked at him, he couldn't help but marvel at the man's face; he looked way too young to be in his fifties. Even his father looked older than the sword master.

"If you're not going back to Tokyo you should not waste your time brooding over a worthless piece of metal. Go!"

Hiko all but kicked his young pupil off the bench and pushed him towards the training area. Kenji reluctantly walked away, turning around one last time to take a look at the sakabato. Satisfied with his student, the sword master sat on the bench and picked up the sword at his feet. He slowly unsheathed it, looking at the wavy line on the sharp side of the sword. A fine sword if there was ever one. Too bad his baka-deshi couldn't wield it anymore. Hopefully, Kenji would come to his senses and start using it or at least take good care of it. Hiko slid back the sword into its scabbard without a sound. Fine craftsmanship indeed. Setting the sword aside, he took the sake jar he had just purchased and and drank from it. He grimaced. The sake wasn't good today. Something was troubling his heart. Had what he feared come true?

Kenji was training. The noon sun was shining hard on him and he sweated abundantly. He was about to make a battou stance when the straw strap of his zori suddenly snapped. Setting down his wooden training sword, the boy kneeled down to see the damage and if it could be fixed. After looking closely he determined that he would need to replace the strap with a piece of string else he would trip on his shoe. As he was about to stand back up, he sensed a presence. Swiftly grabbing his training sword, he pivoted and stood up to face his potential opponent. He immediately relaxed when he saw that it was Yahiko standing there, staring at him with a somewhat forlorn look.

"What is it? I told you I'm not going back to Tokyo. I'm not changing my mind."

The boy was expecting Yahiko to say something yet the man just stood there. Kenji noticed that he was panting and sweating, as if he had just trained, or ran. Curious, the boy got closer. As he did, he noticed that the man was clutching a piece of paper in his hand. However, what stopped the red-haired sword man in his tracks was Yahiko's eyes. They were wild, but mostly, red, as if the man had been crying. Kenji swallowed hard, not daring to think of anything.

Yahiko suddenly walked forward, making Kenji jump. Then, he grabbed his shoulders harder than he should have and looked at him dead in the eye.

"Kenhin. I mean your dad. He is back. He... he passed away."

Kenji's mind blanked. Who? Who had died? Could it be true?

"He died?" he managed to say.

Yahiko nodded, obviously holding back tears. The sight enraged Kenji. What right had this man to mourn his father? Had he been there for him more than he had been there for Kenji? Surely not. Suddenly raging, the boy broke free of Yahiko's hold and walked away.

"Good riddance."

Having said that, he started to practice again. As he did, he heard Yahiko sniff. He tightened his grip on his sword.

Yahiko knew of Kenji's hard feelings towards Kenshin. He had tried to change the boy's mind a thousand times but actions spoke more than words and the stories of Kenshin's great deed had failed to fill the void left by the man's absence. But it hurt him to hear the boy speak such harsh words. Kenshin had been like a father to him, a model to look up to. He just wished that Kenji had understood better. Of course, the boy was missing a big part of the story.

Yahiko sighed. Now that Kenshin was dead, maybe his son would return to Tokyo.

"Kenji. Kaoru, your mother, is gravely sick."

"Because of him," spat the boy.

"She wishes to see you. Don't deny her this. It may be the last chance she has to see you..."

Kenji's knuckled whitened on his sword. He really wanted to go see her. He loved her and missed her very much. Yet he could not forgive her for having chosen her husband over her son. He knew his mother could have avoided Kenshin's affliction. She could have been healthy and strong now if she had listened to everyone and stayed away from him. But now she was dying. Dying. What a terrible thought.

"I...I can't... I..." mumbled he.

"He's going back to Tokyo," said a strong voice behind him.

Kenji turned around to see his master standing in the shade of the tree, his face expressionless as usual.

"But master! I need to..." protested the boy.

Before he could finish his sentence he was flying across the training field from the blow Hiko had given him with his sheathed sword. The elder walked to his pupil, towering over him menacingly.

"How dare you dishonour your parents! Your father has just passed and your mother's life is hanging by a thread! Your place is at her side. I surely did not teach you to betray your parents so!"

Without another word, Hiko walked away. Yahiko followed him back to the hut, leaving the boy alone in the dust with his masters harsh but true words.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A curse and a blessing

Kenji was standing on the upper deck, the cold ocean breeze caressing his face. The moon was full and lighted the water with its bleak shine. Leaning on the rail, the boy was enjoying a moment of well-deserved solitude. He really liked Yahiko, but he was tired of sharing his every waken moment with the man. They had left Kyoto for Osaka two days before. On the train, Kenji had remained silent, looking outside. He knew that if he had turned around to look at his travelling companion he would have found him either crying quietly or trying to hide the fact that he was crying. He hadn't been able to bear it. He didn't like to see grown men cry, obviously, but mostly, he hated the idea of his father being mourned so. And so he had barely exchanged a word with Yahiko, grunting when an answer had been necessary.

They had embarked on the ship at dawn the day before and would soon reach Tokyo. Yahiko had been seasick the whole time, thus giving him no time to think of Kenshin. Kenji had still spent most of his time taking care of Yahiko, against his will. The man was finally asleep, giving the boy a break, but also time to think. He didn't want to think. He was afraid of what was waiting for him at home. He didn't want to think of his dying mother. He didn't want to listen to her words. Surely, _he_ would be the only thing on her mind. He was afraid. Afraid that her words might make him waver. He shook his head. No. His will was strong. His hate even stronger. No matter how people had loved or loved his father, he would not change his mind. They didn't know him like he did. They hadn't seen his shortcomings. He had been a strange man. Kenji believed he was slightly crazy.

How many times had he come back home after a long trip only to lock himself in his room? How many times had Kenji found him sitting alone on the veranda, talking to himself? How many times had Kenji woken up in the middle of the night to the cries of his father fighting off demons in his dreams? How many times had he walked on his father crying alone in the courtyard at dawn? The man had been crazy, no doubt. Kenji didn't know what had made him like that and he honestly didn't care. All he knew is that he and his mother had suffered from it. All he had ever wanted was a normal family. Had this been so much to ask?

Kenji sighed. He didn't get it. He wished he could just turn this ship around and go back to his hut in the woods. There, things were clear. The blade never lied. The boy shuddered, trying to forget the direct connection between his father and the hitenmitsurugi.

Yahiko got off the gangplank with a sigh of relief. Nevermore, he thought. He hated ships probably as much as Sanosuke had hated trains. Well, at least, he knew the ship would not take his soul away. He smiled, in spite of himself, then glanced over his shoulder to make sure Kenji was following him. The boy walked reluctantly, a sullen look on his face, but at least he was there. He had feared he would cause some trouble, hide on the ship or try to slip past him and disappear in the crowd. Yahiko sighed again. He could see only sad tidings on the horizon.

The young man walked at a steady pace, trying to see if someone had come for them. He smiled when he saw sweet Tsubame waving at him timidly. She was such a beautiful woman. His woman. Yahiko was proud of his wife and never failed to blush when she lovingly smiled at him. He soon closed the distance that separated them, Kenji in tow. He was about to take her in his arms but stopped himself, looking around with an embarrassed grin. Tsubame pretended not to see it and turned to look at Kenji.

"Okaeri, Kenji," she said in a soft voice.

"Tadaima," mumbled the boy without much conviction.

"Your mother really wants to see you, let's get going."

Kenji grunted, and followed the couple. He could tell that Tsubame was worried about Yahiko. She spoke to him in a gentle voice, taking his hand in hers even though they were in public. She was a strong woman and even though Yahiko towered her, he knew that she was the pillar of the couple. She surely had been crying, too, yet her face did not betray her grief. Kenji could also see that if she could fool him, she did not Yahiko. He was obviously worried about her, too. They made a lovely couple. Kenji wish his parents could have had such a quiet and loving relationship. Yahiko wasn't out to save the world and he was entirely devoted to his wife. Nothing similar could be said about his father.

When they reached the house, Kenji was surprised to see that the place was packed with strangers, most of them a lot older than his father had been. Some government officials were also there but that was no surprise; they had been the ones sending him off on those missions. Kenji despised them. To avoid the crowd, the little group walked to the back of the property and got in though the backdoor. The boy was slightly surprised to see that nothing had changed. Everything was as it had been when he had left for Kyoto.

"Kenji, the bath is ready. Please wash and change for the funeral. The black garments should be in your room," said Tsubame.

Funeral. The boy looked at the young woman, panic stricken. They were too late! Tsubame smiled sadly.

"Your father's funeral. Your mother is still alive. She's waiting for you, hurry."

Kenji relaxed. He had to admit that now that he was so close, he could not begrudge his mother. He only wished to see her and talk to her. Without further ado, he headed for the bath, leaving the couple behind. Yahiko watched his brother walk away and then sat on the veranda, followed by his wife. This side of the house was strangely quiet. Slowly, Tsubame leaned on her husband's shoulder. Yahiko put his right arm around her and hugged her.

"How did he take the news," she asked.

"I don't know. Is "good riddance" a blessing or a curse?"

Tsubame sat up, shocked.

"He said that?"

Yahiko looked at his beautiful wife in the eyes. Although she had seen Kenji grow up and knew of his hate for Kenshin, she had always hoped that the boy would come to his senses. She was such a candid creature.

Yahiko nodded, unable to speak. He could feel his grief rush back at him. He had cried so much for Kenshin, yet he felt like he could still cry a river. He felt ashamed. This was not a man's behaviour. Yet, he just couldn't help it. He looked away from his wife, trying to hold back his tears. Tsubame got up and standing in front of Yahiko, she embraced him. Quietly, they cried.

Kenji was all dressed up with his dark grey hakama and his black gi adorned with the family crest. His mother's crest. For some reason, his father had never wanted him to wear his. Probably because he had thought Kenji unworthy of it. The boy wished he could also have taken his mother's name instead of his fathers. He sighed and, after a long pause, walked out of his room. As he got closer to the dojo where the funeral was held, the cacophony caused by the guests got louder and louder. As he got closer, Kenji's step became slower ans slower until he came to a halt at the corner of the building, still hidden from everybody's eyes. His heart was racing. Once he walked past that corner, his father would be really dead. He would be gone forever. Kenji swallowed. He tried to convince himself that he was only nervous to see his mother. He had almost managed to do so when he heard a voice behind him.

"Kenji, is that you?"

Startled, the boy instinctively reached for his sword, which he wasn't carrying. He turned around and found himself looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman. She was a little bit older than his mother, but not much. There was no mistaking her

The lady smiled at him and pushed a strand of her long silky black hair behind her right ear. She suddenly reminded him of a fox.

"Megumi oba-san" he said

The woman smiled.

"For a moment there I thought you had forgotten me! It's been a while."

Kenji managed a smile.

"You look just like your father," she added thoughtful.

The boy's smile disappeared. The woman laughed.

"I'm sorry. I forgot, I forgot. Here, don't move. I'll fix your eri."

Megumi started to fiddle with his collar. He could feel her soft fingers on his neck, and her sweet perfume. He was glad when she back away, for he had been about to break down and cry. The woman had not always been by his side, but she had always been an ally. Also, she was the only one who hadn't constantly tried to change his feelings for his father.

"You look perfect. Are you nervous?"

Kenji nodded.

"Don't worry about your badger of a mother. You may have left with a storm, but all is quiet now. She knew you weren't going to learn the kamiyakashinryu."

Kenji sighed in relief. Two years before, he had parted with his mother in bad terms. Although he had never acknowledged it, he realized now that he had feared that she would reject him.

"But Kenji, be gentle with her. I won't lie to you; she doesn't have much time left. Try not to upset her, no matter what she tells you. Although she's still lucid, the sickness sometimes makes her mind wander. Be gentle with her. Can you do that?"

Kenji nodded with a pang of sadness.

"Then let's go. Everyone is waiting for you."

Megumi put her hand on the boys shoulder and they both turned the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A stranger's departure

As soon as Kenji came into sight, people grew quiet and looked at him with sadness and pity in their eyes. It disgusted him. He didn't need their pity. He was a man, not a little boy. Some of them offered him their condolences. He bowed in returned. Surely his rudeness would be put on account of his grief. He walked in the dojo. The place was packed with strangers. It was so hot that he had to cut through the heat to make each step. He knew the people around him were looking at him, but he kept his eyes on his father's framed picture, set on top of a oblong coffin. The man's austere expression kindled the fire of his hate. He felt as if time had slowed down. The noise had died out and the only sounds left were his own ragged breathing and his heavy steps. Slowly, he knelt down in front of his father's remains and as if in a dream, he lighted a stick of incense. Then, he joined his hands and pretended to pray. But in his heart of hearts, he was uttering a curse. He remained there a long moment.

A hand landing heavily on his shoulder woke him up from his waken dream. The voices came rushing back at him, dizzying him. He looked up. A man he didn't know was looking down on him.

"Your father was a great man. Please accept your condolences."

Kenji looked at the man, not understanding. Megumi came to his rescue.

"The poor boy is so grief stricken that he's not himself. Please allow me to take him to his mother."

The stranger nodded and exchanged a few words with the fox lady. Then, Megumi helped the boy to his feet and lead him to Kaoru. When he saw her, Kenji's heart all but broke in a thousand pieces. His mother was so thin! Deep shadows circled her eyes, making her look as if she stared at the world from a deep cavern. Her cheek were hollow and her lips parched. She sat straight with the help of a carved chair. Her hands lay on her knees, her fingers bony, her veins like so many blue ridges. She looked like a living corpse. Kenji held back his tears. Where was the woman he had left two years before? Sickness had ravaged her and it was all because of _him_.

When she saw her son, Kaoru's face lighted up and she tried to stand. Tae, who was standing next to hear tried to stop her but even in sickness, there was no stopping that woman. Kenji rushed at her side and made her sit down. He took her bare hands and noticed that she was covered with bandages to her wrists. He looked at her face. With her smile, she still looked pretty.

"Kenji. I'm so glad you're here," she said, her voice unchanged.

The boy nodded, unable to speak.

"Your father came back. He will never leave us again."

Kenji squeezed his mother's hands unable to stand her peaceful expression. Why did she look so at peace? He just couldn't understand. She should have been crying. She had loved him and he had deserted her, wasn't it normal to cry. Once again, his mother's feelings were confusing him. He tried to control the anger that welled in his heart.

As if sensing the boy's anger, Megumi came to the rescue.

"Kaoru, I think you should rest. Let Kenji take over."

Kaoru looked fiercely at the woman.

"I'm not moving. You can't fool me. I know I don't have much longer left."

Tae protested indignantly but the sick woman brushed her words aside with a wave of her hand.

"Resting will not make me better. Kenshin needs me by his side. I will rest tonight when this is over."

Kaoru lowered her eyes to looked at her son still kneeling in front of her.

"Now sit next to me Shinta and greet your father's guests."

Kenji looked up at Megumi. Shinta? Who was Shinta? The fox lady shrugged he motioned for Kenji to sit next between his mother and his father's coffin.

People came and went, talked to him and his mother but he didn't really listen. Images crossed his mind like clouds cross the sky, far away, indefinite, intangible. In his dreamlike state, he still managed to be impressed at the number of people who came to pay his father their respects. Some of them were even foreigners.

The sun was low on the horizon and candles were being lit when the guests finally started to leave. Only family and friends were left when a rugged man dressed in dirty white clothes walked in. His hair and beard were unkempt and he looked as if he hadn't taken a bath in a long time. He walked straight for Kenshin's coffin and knelt in front of it. Everybody looked at him while he lighted some incense. Kenji was expecting him to start praying when the man surprised him by taking a jar of sake out of his travelling bag. He then uncorked the bottle and started to pour the liquid on top of the coffin. Kenji jumped to his feet. Who was this man? What the hell was he doing? And why was everyone looking at him like that?

"It's good, isn't it? It paid a lot for it. No to worry, I didn't borrow from anyone this time."

The man spoke like a yakuza. Kenji was revolted. He didn't want his mother to have to deal with such a man. Once again he reached for his sword and cursed himself for having left it in his room. He eyes the sakabato that lay on its stand next to his father's picture. As if sensing the turmoil in her son's heart, Kaoru got up with Tae's help.

"Thank you Sano. I'm sure he enjoyed it."

The man looked their way.

"Oh! Jo-chan! What's happening with you? Another diet? This one worked well!" joked the man.

Kenji was ready to jump at his throat when his mother's laughter stopped him dead in his tracks. It was a surprisingly strong laugh for a person in her condition. The man called Sano laughed, too, and little wrinkles formed at the corner of his eyes.

"I see Kenji doesn't recognize me. I can swear he was about to assault me," he said with a smirk.

Kaoru laughed again.

"Let's just say that he's very protective of his mother," she explained.

The man looked satisfied with the answer.

"Like father, like son."

Everyone laughed. All these people laughing were confusing Kenji. He was getting angrier with every second that passed.

"I am nothing like my father!" he suddenly yelled.

In the silence that followed, the only thing that could be heard was Kenji's heavy breathing.

Sano got up and got closer to the boy, towering him.

"Don't be silly, you look just like your father must have looked at your age. You move like him, you talk like him and you even smell just like him."

"I'm pretty sure Kenshin must have been calmer," protested Kaoru. Everyone laughed only enraging Kenji further. Without thinking, he reached for his father's sword and unsheathed it. The blade gleamed with the trembling light of the candles. The boy pointed his word at Sanosuke.

"I am nothing like him. I may look like him, but this is my curse."

For a moment, he looked like he was going to assault the tall man. Suddenly, surprising everyone, he dashed to his father's picture and with a swift movement, he broke the frame. Glass shards flew everywhere. Kaoru screamed, but Kenji wasn't done.

"Who is this man in the coffin? Who is he? You all seem to know but I don't! He's a stranger. A stranger!"

With his feet, Kenji kicked open his father's coffin. Tae and Tsubame screamed in horror. He roared when he found the wooden box empty.

"Where is he? What is this circus? Are you playing a game on me? Was this all to bring me back to Tokyo?"

Kenji was hysteric. He waved the sword around, breaking things randomly. Kaoru had fallen to her knees and was crying helplessly in Tae's arms. Tsubame was crying, hiding her face behind her hands. Sanosuke and Yahiko looked at the boy, waiting for an opening. Megumi just looked at Kenji, her face expressionless.

Kenji wasn't conscious of what he was doing until the sakabato caught in a wooden pillar and wouldn't come out. He pulled and pulled but the damned sword would not budge. Giving up, he looked around sand started to trash whatever he could with his hands and feet. He kept on howling.

Sanosuke and Yahiko were about to make a move when a voice coming from behind stopped them.

"I thought this was a funeral. I guess I was mistaken."

Everyone, including Kenji, turned around to look at the newcomer.

A police officer smoking a cigarette looked at Kenji with great interest.

"Interesting. Himura's son, I presume? He looks just like him. Just like a killer."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Darkness meets the light

Everyone stood still as the man walked in. Each of his boot clad footsteps resounded in the now empty dojo. In the shadows, the burning embers of his cigarette lit his face at irregular intervals. In spite of himself, Kenji was scared. He stood there petrified by the policeman's gaze. His thin eyes weren't those of an agent of the law. They shined. They were like the eyes of a wild beast. A wolf's eyes.

The man kept getting closer. Kenji started trembling. An irrational thought sprung in his mind: I am going to die. The police officer finally stopped a few centimetres away from the boy. With his gloved hand, he grabbed his chin and lifted his head. Kenji didn't even think to protest.

"Yes. Himura's son. You look exactly like he did. Actually, if it weren't for your perfectly smooth left cheek, I would believe I was back in the bakumatsu."

Kenji looked deeper into the man's eyes. Darkness.

"Oh but I must say you have your mother's gaze. Your eyes, they're soft. I guess I was mistaken. You're not a killer after all."

_But you are._

Suddenly losing interest, the policeman let go of Kenji and walked towards the wooden pillar into which Kenshin's sword was still embedded. Slowly, he grabbed the hilt of the weapon and with a sharp jerk, he pulled it out of the wall. He then looked at the sakabato, hefting it appreciatively. He seemed pleased with the craftsmanship. Then, still holding the sword with his right hand, he held up his left hand and touched the wood, tracing the newly cut line with the tip of his fingers. Then, he lifted his hand and traced another line that had been there a whole lot longer. He turned around to look at Kenji.

"I made this dent. I fought with your father. I brought out the killer in him."

Kenji looked at the man in complete incomprehension. What was he talking about?

The boy did not get much more time to think for his mother walked up to the policeman.

"Saito-san, thank you for coming. Let's not bring up these old memories. There are certain things I wish to leave in the past, and so did Kenshin." Saying so, she took her husband's sword from his hand and passed it to Megumi who sheathed it.

Saito nodded, as if to apologize. Then, he seemed to remember something.

"Kawaji sent me to tell you that he will send a carriage for you tomorrow. His ashes are ready?"

Kaoru nodded. The word ashes brought Kenji back to reality.

"Ashes? You cremated him?"

Saito turned to look at him and Kenji saw a strange yellow gleam in his eyes. A killer, yes. He had to be.

"Silly boy. How long do you think a corpse can last by such a heat? Your father died four days ago. Of course they had him cremated."

"I wish you could have seen him one last time, but we had to do it," added Kaoru with a sad smile.

She then turned to Saito.

"Please thank Kawaji-san for his help. I wish I could walk to the temple but as you know I don't have much longer left."

As if to prove her point, she started coughing badly. When the fit was over, she bowed at the policeman. In front of her, drops of blood fell on the shiny wooden floor. Saito did not seem to notice and bowed back. He then turned around and looked at Sanosuke and Yahiko as if he was seeing them for the first time.

"Chicken boy, what happened to you? You look like you went to hell and back."

Sanosuke gave the man a rueful smile.

"And you, you look just the same. Greetings to your wife!" he finished, with a little smirk.

The police officer flinched ever so slightly and walked away, waving his hand in goodbyes. Everyone remained still until he was out of sight. Then, as if on cue, everyone started talking at the same time. Tsubame ran to Yahiko, Sanosuke walked to Megumi and Tae tried to make Kaoru sit. As for Kenji, he stood trembling in from of his father's desecrated altar.

Kaoru freed herself from Tae and walked steadily to her soon. She then stopped in front of him. He lowered his eyes, ashamed of what he had done but his mother forced him to look at her. Her eyes were fierce and her voice strong when she spoke to him.

"I have known of your feeling for your fathers for years. I have never forced you to understand him. I have never told you of the pain you've caused him. Of the hurt. I thought things would get better. That you would one day understand his reasons. I thought you were now a grown man but I was wrong. You're nothing but a child and you have shamed yourself and your family tonight. Get a hold of yourself. You're not the only person to have suffered in this world."

And then, for the first time, Kenji felt his mother's strength as she dealt him a blow. The boy instinctively covered his face with his hands and looked at Kaoru with pain and surprise. He did not have time to react much more for the woman suddenly collapsed at his feet in a severe coughing fit.

"OKAAAAAAAAN!"

. . .

Kenji sat by his mother's futon, holding her hand his his. Next to him, Megumi drowsing. Outside the walls, he heard the night watch call the midnight. After Kaoru had collapsed, Yahiko and Sanosuke had rushed her to bed. Megumi had done everything in her power to alleviate the dying woman's pain but she hadn't been able to do much. Tae and Tsubame had helped as much as they could but hadn't been able to do much more than Megumi. Kenji had followed them around a the house, useless.

When Kaoru's body had finally calmed down, her mind had started to wander. She had had long conversations with her husband, most of which had been incomprehensible. From time to time, she had called his name and they had known that she was still far gone. She had finally fallen asleep an hour prior, to everyone's relief. Although everyone had tried to send him to bed, Kenji had insisted on keeping watch on his mother. Megumi had taken his side and everyone had had to comply with her.

Now that everyone was asleep, Kenji could finally start thinking about what had happened. He wasn't proud of how he had snapped in front of everyone. He felt ashamed and guilty. But mostly, he couldn't forgive himself for paining his mother so. He knew now that his behaviour had nothing to do with he current state and that had he behaved, she wouldn't have been in a better health. Yet, he could have spared her the grief of seeing her son despising the man she had and still loved so much. Not that he forgave his dad, but he had come to the realization that his mother had really loved him deeply. It was unfortunately too late to make amends.

Kenji then started thinking about the strange policeman called Saito. Everyone had seemed to know him and yet, Kenji had never heard of him or even seen him. The things he said had troubled him. He had said his father had been a killer. Well, no. He had said he had brought out the killer in his dad. What had he meant by that? Kenji knew that his father had fought during the bakumatsu but he hadn't been a killer, had he? He had never been able to ask his father about that dark era and he had somewhat felt that the subject was taboo. Anyway, how could anyone kill with a reversed blade? And yet, his mother had clearly said that she wished to keep certain memories in the past. Had his father been a killer? Now that he thought about it, some old people had looked at him strangely in Kyoto. He had heard the word "battousai" a few times, too.

Kenji jumped when he felt his mother's hand move in his. He looked down at her and saw that she was gazing softly at him.

"Kenji, forgive me," she whispered, tears rolling on her temples.

The boy squeezed her hand.

"Okan, don't be sorry. I am the one who ought to be sorry. I've caused you so much pain."

Kaoru shook her head.

"Okan... You know that your father was from the Kansai region? You call me okan because of him. The first time you said it it felt so strange. I had thought you would call me ka-chan, or oka-san or even mama, but no; you called me okan."

She smiled.

"Kenji there are many things I wish I could have told you. There are many things I wish he could have told you. And now, I wonder if you would not have loved him more if he had spoken openly to you."

Kenji held back his tears. She was slowing slipping away from him, he could feel it.

"Kenji. I love you. You've always made me proud. I've loved you from the moment I lay my eyes on you. Kenshin, your father loved you, too. I know you find it hard to believe, but he loved you more than anything else in the world. He loved you more than he even loved me."

Tears flowed freely on Kenji's cheeks. He didn't want to hear these things. It hurt him.

"I know the others won't speak, for he has made them swear but I hope that one day you'll be able to know the man that was your father."

"Okan..."

Kaoru gave her son a genuine smile.

"I know. I know. I will not make you change your mind. You are stubborn, just like me. Kenji, did I tell you that I love you. My mind is such a mess lately. It's like there is mist in my head. I love you my son. Now let me sleep."

Kaoru closed her eyes, her hand still in her son's and fell asleep. Kenji wiped his eyes with his sleeve and resumed his watch.

In the early morning, when darkness meets the light to create a colourful tapestry in the sky, Kaoru opened her eyes to take one last look at the world. As she took her last breath, it seemed to her that she could hear Kenshin's voice calling her name.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Locked away

The sun was at its zenith in a clear blue sky. The cicadas were singing in the shadows of the trees. There wasn't the slightest breeze to cool down the scorching earth. Kenji was lying on his back on the wooden floor of the souko, naked but for his loin cloth. With its earthen wall, the place was the coolest of the entire house. True it ranked of dust but at least the place was dark and quiet. The closed doors muffled the sound of his "family" busily cleaning up the house.

Seven days. It had been seven days since she had died. Unexpectedly, Kenji had not felt violent emotions. Sadness had brushed him, yes, and he maybe he had spilled a few tears, but not the torrents he had expected. He had felt relieved. He had felt that, at last, this chapter of his life was over. Not that he did not still resent his father, on the contrary, but with both of his parents dead, he felt like he had really become a man.

Kenji had overseen everything concerning his mother's funeral and her succession. He had approved the transfer of the dojo to Yahiko. He had taken care of everything. Even though he had known nothing of the usual procedures, he had acted like the head of the family, which he was now. Anyway, Yahiko had been too devastated to be entrusted anything. Then again, everyone had seemed greatly affected by his mother's passing, maybe more than they had seemed by his father's death. Maybe it had been the shock of losing them one after another. Then again, Kenji had been absent had the moment of his father's death, so he had not been able to see everyone's reaction.

Kenji sighed and turned on his side. As he did, he felt a flash of numb pain when his sweaty back was pulled away from the floor. He stretched his right hand, trying to blindly reach the painful skin but hit something in the cramped space. An avalanche of documents, dust and scrolls crashed loudly on top of him. The young man immediately sat up, instinctively protecting his head. After a short moment, the piece and quiet returned, leaving Kenji coughing and sneezing. Swearing, he got up and looked about. Better clean this up, he thought between two sneeze.

He sighed and crouched, gingerly touching this and that, not too sure where to start. He grabbed a scroll and untied the string to look at it. Nothing but an old Chinese ink panting. He rolled it up again and put it away with other scrolls. Then he started to pile up the numerous documents in a neat pile. He looked distractedly at them; most were old newspaper clippings or old legal documents pertaining to the dojo. One of the clippings mentioned the murder of Prime Minister Okubo, another, from Kyoto, the destruction of an important mountain complex in Kyoto. To the boy, it just looked totally random. He stopped cleaning for a moment, thinking that he should just burn most of these things.

Piling up the scrolls on top of the documents, he was about to put them back on top of the crate they had been on when he noticed a strange box behind the wooden crate. Setting the papers on a chest nearby, he crouched to look at his new discovery. He pushed aside the crate. The box was made of pale wood and was lacquered, although it was unlike any Japanese lacquered good he had ever seen. It was more sturdy and bulky than its Nipponese counterparts. It definitely looked foreign. Kenji blew on the cover to discover a faded flower motif. Cautiously, he pulled the box towards him, awaiting another avalanche. Nothing happened.

He ran his fingers on the soft surface, trying to find a way to open the thing. He could see hinges on his side of the box but no matter how he pulled, the cover didn't bulge. Leaning over the small chest, he finally discovered a lock. Luckily, the key was in. Slowly, he turned the object around, cringing at the idea that this massive thing was making deep scratches in the wooden floor. If Tsubame found out, she would strangle him. But these matters were not at hand for the moment.

Kenji pulled out the key. It was a beautifully and delicately forged object, definitely foreign. He insert it back in the keyhole and turned it. A muffled click was heard and the lid slightly moved upwards. The young man looked behind him then opened the chest, his heart beating.

He was utterly disappointed. It only contained more documents. Kenji had secretly been expecting gold coins, like in those foreign stories about pirates he had heard. He moved around the content of the box with no great interest and was about to close it again when he saw something that caught his eyes: a picture. But not any picture. Even in the dimly lit souko, Kenji could tell that the person on the picture had fiery red hair. He stood up and walked closer to the only beam of sunshine that lighted the souko through its high window.

The person on the picture looked just like his father. Yet, he could tell that it wasn't him. He had never seen Kenshin sport such a high ponytail plus the eyes were different. Softer and filled with joy. He looked more closely and discovered that although she was wearing men's clothes the person was a woman. Trembling and unable to understand what this was all about, he flipped the pictured to see if there was an inscription on the back. Luckily there was. It said:

_To Mr Himura._

_Thank you for visiting us today. It was a real pleasure to meet you. Do not be sad for you will always be in our hearts._

_From Ai_

_18__th__ year of Meiji_

Kenji was confused. Who was this Ai? A distant relative? No, it was impossible, for they had just met. Then who? Hoping to find more, Kenji started to empty the chest systematically. He found three more pictures. One was of another Japanese woman dressed in foreign clothes. She was about the same age as his father, judging by the date on the back of the picture. The last picture was a whole lot older than the previous ones. It was pasted on a thick yellowed paper and appeared to have been ripped in half in the middle at one point. Two little kids were portrayed in what appeared to be shichigosan kimonos. The boy and the girl's resemblance was striking. Twins. Kenji picked up the first picture again. The tall woman and the little girl were indubitably the same person however there seemed to be something different. However, he couldn't quite say what. He scrutinized it closely but in the dark of the souko, it was hard to tell. Without even thinking about what he was about to do, he put back on his yukata and walked outside pictures in hand.

As soon as he stepped outside the heat hit him like a ton of bricks. He was about to turn heels and go back inside the souko when the person her had been avoiding spotted him.

"Kenji!"

Yahiko waved. The boy was tempted to pretend he hadn't heard them but decided not to. He was, after all, the man of the family now. He went down the three wooden steps that led to the souko and crossed the courtyard to meet his brother. Yahiko was but a shadow of what he had once been. He had lost so much weight that he seemed to be wearing clothes designed for a person thrice his size. There were deep purple circles under his eyes and he always appeared to be on the verge of tears. Regardless, he kept trying to cheer everyone up and had an annoying fake smile plastered to his face. He had liked him better when he had spent his time crying and vomiting on the ship.

"Kenji, this just arrived."

He handed him a letter. It was stamped with the seal of the police department.

"I thought it was another letter of condolences so I opened it. I'm sorry."

Kenji unfolded the thick paper and read the succinct message.

_Himura Kenji,_

_Come to the Asakusa police station. I have something of your father's to give you._

_Fujita Goro_

Kenji was astonished that the rudeness of the message. It was written in casual language and followed none of the established rules. Who was this man and what made him think he could address him in such a manner.

"Preposterous! If that Fujita believes I can be summoned like a manservant, he's wrong!"

Before Yahiko had time to respond Kenji's exclamation a low voice coming from behind them said:

"Baka, when this man calls you go. Even your father knew that."

Kenji turned around to find himself face to face with that tall man called Sanosuke. Even with his beard shaves and his hair cut he still looked like the scum he most likely was. That he had been his father's closest friend only made him worse in the young man's eyes. He glared at him.

"And what makes you think you can eavesdrop on private conversation."

A gleam of anger glowed in the man's eyes for a short moment before he shook his head and just started chuckling.

"You may look like him but on the inside you're just like your mother!"

Yahiko couldn't help but smile, for real for once. This only contributed to anger the Kenji furthermore. Seeing that, he put his hand on his arm.

"Kenji. Fujita Goro is Saito Hajime's rehabilitated name. He was one of the Shinsengumi Captains that…"

Before Yahiko could finish his sentence, Sanosuke cover his mouth with his huge hand.

"That knew your father. Now if I were you I would go if I were you. He's the man that came to Kenshin's funeral after you turned everything upside down."

Kenji felt a chill running up his back.

What did the wolf want with him?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Pieces of you

Kenji stood in front of the gate of the Asakusa police station the letter in his hand. Sanosuke bumped in him and almost toppled over. Kenji turned around and glared at him.

"Watch where you're going," he grunted.

The tall man ignored him and just walked past him making his way to the door nonchalantly. Kenji clenched his teeth. The more time he spent with that man the more he despised him. Not wanting to be left behind, he still hurried to catch up and walk slightly ahead of him. He could have sworn he heard Sanosuke snigger.

As soon as they stepped into the brick building, they were greeted by Kawaji who happened to be on his way to a crime scene. He bowed deeply and renewed his condolences to Kenji.

"A great man, if there ever was one, your father. It is a great loss for Japan. And your mother, a woman of such mental strength! I am very sorry for your loss. If I remember correctly..."

The police officer was interrupted by of his colleagues calling him. He apologized and left them after indicating them the way to Fujita's office. As they walked the long wooden corridors, Kenji pondered what the police officer had said. A great lost for Japan. Why was it always about the country? Had these people only thought of his father in terms of his contribution to the government? Without really knowing why, this upset him. They luckily reached the door of Fujita's office before he had time to swim in the troubled waters of his mind.

Getting himself ready to see face to face the man who had petrified him, Kenji took a deep breath. Unfortunately, Sanosuke was working a different agenda and swung the door open before the young man could even think of knocking. He sighed. That man was playing a dangerous game with his patience. After the funeral disaster, Kenji had decided that he would follow the established protocol in all matters. Sanosuke was not helping him reaching his goal one bit.

The wolf's den was surprisingly devoid of the personality of its occupant. The walls were bare except for a few maps of the city pinpointed with red needles. Two simple wooden chairs had been pushed against the wall to leave more space around the massive oak desk that sat in the center of the room. You could barely see Fujita's head over the piles of documents and reports. Kenji had expected to see the lugubrious shadow of a man sitting against the sun waiting for them in his mysterious den. He was surprised to see a man at work.

Fujita gave them an uninterested look and pointed the chairs without even uttering a word. Clearly, this man had no manners. Sanosuke and Kenji dragged the chairs in front of the desk and sat down. The older man stretched his arms and started to hum a tune as if he was enjoying a nice sunny day. The police officer didn't even seem to care. It seemed to Kenji that his parents' death had thrown him into a world inhabited by socially inept beings. He looked at Fujita and decided to wait nevertheless. There was something about him that just chilled him to the bones.

Finally, after what appeared to be an eternity, Fujita got up and pinched the bridge of his nose before cracking his neck.

"You wouldn't know anything about that new gang?" he asked offhandedly.

Sanosuke raised an eyebrow.

"You mean the one hanging around Ochanomizu?"

"Yes. We sent a mole but we haven't heard from him in ages. He's probably dead by now. Their leaders remain a mystery..."

Sanosuke and Fujita started to discuss the street gang, the yakuza looking man helping the murderer looking cop. What the hell was going on? Kenji clenched his fists, trying to contain the hanger he felt building in his chest. He had to remain civil... Suddenly, he stood up, his chair toppling over in a loud crash. Both men turned to look at him as if noticing him for the first time.

"Excuse-me, I do not mean to interrupt but I believe you have something to give me."

The dryness of his voice made Fujita raise an eyebrow.

"I see you do have a little of your father in you. Always straight to the point. However, he was better at hiding his anger."

His smirk enraged Kenji who fought even harder to contain his anger.

"Please, sir. May I have what I came here for?"

Seeing the efforts the boy was making, Fujita suddenly became serious. Without a word, he walked to his desk and opened the lowest drawer. When he straightened up, he was holding a parcel wrapped in brown paper and about the size of a hanshi. He held it out to Kenji over his desk. Slowly, the young man raised his right arm and grabbed it. He was surprised at the heaviness of the object when the police officer let go and had to use his other hand to avoid dropping it. Before he even spoke, the man interrupted him.

"Don't bother asking me what's inside; I haven't got a clue."

Kenji looked at the man in the eyes.

"The only thing I can tell you is that we brought me that book last year before he left for China and told me to give it to you when both he and your mother had passed away. I must say I didn't expect to pass it on to you so soon."

He leaned on his desk. Kenji made a step forward.

"Don't even think about it. I'm not telling you how your father and I are connected."

Kenji bit his lower lip. The man was reading him like an open book.

"Let me just tell you this: we walked different paths but had a lot in common. Now leave, I have work to do. Chicken boy I may call on you in the next few days; you're still staying at that dojo?"

Sanosuke nodded and they both took their leave from the wolf and went back to his work and totally ignored them from that point on.

Once outside the precinct, he ripped the paper to see what his father had gone to such extent to give him. The heirloom was in fact a book the size of a ledger. The binding was made of dark brown leather and the cover and back lined with thick green fabric. It didn't really look Japanese. In fact it looked quite foreign and it reminded Kenji of that chest he had found in the souko. Maybe he would find something I there to explain the pictures. Withtout waiting any longer, he opened it.

Sanosuke whisled, impressed.

"We're going to have a hard time deciphering this!"

Kenji jumped. He had forgotten about the tall man. He looked at the book. The pages were covered in very fine characters. Foreign characters. Kenji sighed loudly, feeling the frustration well inside him again. He turned to face Sanosuke.

"First of all who said there was a _we_? This has nothing to do with you. Second, this must be some kind of sick joke my father is playing on me from the grave."

Closing the book shut with a loud snap, he started to walk home and a furious pace. Sanosuke, undeterred by the youngling's imprecations, hurried to his side.

"You know sometimes you remind me of Kenshin, but like one of these deformed mirrors I've seen once in China. You act like your father would, but for the wrong reasons."

Kenji decided to ignore the man. He was sick and tired of being told he looked or acted like his father. However Sanosuke wasn't done and his long legs helped him keep a steady pace.

"Too bad there can be no we. Coz I could tell you where to go to have this thing translated."

Kenji stopped dead in his tracks. Sanosuked grinned.

The two men stood in front of the gate of the Dutch consulate. The two armed guards were looking at them suspiciously.

"Are you sure this is… Dutch?"

"Affirmative. Yutaro showed me a few words when he came back to Japan a few years ago."

Kenji, not trusting Sanosuke one bit, didn't even bother asking who was Yutaro and, opening the book at a random page, decidedly walked towards one of the guards.

"Excuse-me, sir, could you tell if this is Dutch?"

The guard didn't flinch and remained straight as a stick. Kenji tried addressing him again but to no avail. He was about to give up when the sound of a carriage approaching made him turn around. A four horse drawn black coach was making its way toward the closed gate. When it stopped, Kenji was surprise the see the occupant poke its blond head out the window.

"Himura-kun?"

Kenji looked around while the blond maid's secretary poured them tea. He had never been in a room so richly decorated. The walls were cover with flowery white, green and pink wallpaper which contrasted a lot with the dark oak of the panelling. The wooden floors were covered with huge thick rugs and Kenji would've definitely liked to lie down on it for a little nap. As for the furniture, it was the first time he was sitting on an upholstered Recamier. The table in front of him was also fascinating. There were so many details carved into it. Finally, the fine porcelain cup he was about to drink from was also a marvellous piece of art. He had never seen anything like it.

The blond man smiled at the boy's interest and even more at Sanosuke's visible discomfort at being in such refined surroundings. He took a sip of tea then cleared his throat. Kenji and Sanosuke both looked at him.

"Himura-kun, I am sure you've been told this countless times but I want to tell you that I am very sorry for your loss."

Not sure how to react, Kenji looked down at his cup.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

Sanosuke chose this moment to drop his cup on the saucer. Kenji jumped and the blond man laughed. The tall man apologized and tried to clean up his mess, only making it worse.

"You are too nervous my friends. Sagara-kun, Himura-kun, please relax and enjoy yourselves."

Kenji looked up at this strange gaijin who spoke perfect Japanese.

"I'm sorry sir but although you know our names I don't have the pleasure of knowing yours."

The man laughed again.

"Please forgive me. I am Petyr Van Dyke. I am the Dutch consulate in Japan. I have known both your parents for many years, and I believe we have met once or twice, Sagara-kun."

The tall man didn't seem to remember and shrugged. Van Dyke laughed again then his face darkened.

"Now let me not waste more of your time. This book you have here I written in Dutch, I confirm it. You father told me that one day you would come to me with something of his and that when you did, I should give you this."

The Dutch man gestured to a majordomo who handed him a small envelope. He put it down on the table and pushed it towards Kenji. The young man delicately took it between his fingers. This, too, was of foreign origin. The paper was yellowed and dry. He looked at Van Dyke, as if asking if he could open in. The older man nodded.

Slowly, he ripped it open from the side and tipped it to the side. A golden locket fell out in the palm of his hand. Putting down the envelope, he took a good look at the small object. It was carved with many minute patterns. There was a minuscule hinge at one side. Kenji tried to open it but failed. Sanosuke, who had been following the whole thing, tried to grab the locket from the boy's hand but Kenji turned his back on him. Finally, he managed to slip his thumbnail between the two sides and opened it. The secret the locket revealed to him was quite disturbing. It was a miniature of two red headed children. The rendition was perfect and troubling. These two little children looked just like the ones he had seen in the picture in the souko. Suddenly remembering something, he searched the folds of his obi and took out the old picture. He then put both on the table, next to one another.

There was no doubt about it. These were the same children.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Betrayal and redemption

The noon sun had long gone and was starting its course towards the horizon. The melody of the breeze caressing softly the trees was accompanied by the song of the cicadas. The heat was still crushing but any edokko would have been able to tell that the night would be a cool one.

Kenji sat on the veranda, feet dangling, brow furrowed. On his lap, lay the green book, the envelope sitting on top. He could hear the faint but distinct sound of the pupils training in the dojo. Everything was utterly normal around him, yet he felt as if he was in a completely different world. He felt as if everything around him had been built on half-truths and that these precarious sand castles were starting to crumble. Only, they weren't revealing anything; they just added to the confusion. Plus, with all this, he was feeling his anger slip away from his grasp. He didn't like the thought, although why, he wasn't sure.

The young man closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was getting a headache. The gesture suddenly reminded him of the wolf-man. He quickly lowered his hand. Even at a distance, the man made him shudder. Sighing, Kenji put the book and the envelope beside him and pulled his knees up, embracing them with his arms. He let his forehead rest, trying to fight the pain.

Soon, he felt a presence near him. He didn't raise his head but his nose told him that this was Megumi. He heard the woman sit close to him, the book between them. Then he heard a sound he didn't recognize and jumped when something freezing fell in his collar and slid down his yukata. Kenji jumped on his feet and jumping this way or that, hands desperately reaching for his back, trying to get rid of the cold intruder. Megumi, laughed wholeheartedly behind her hand.

Finally, the ice melted before the young man could remove it from his garment. He glared at Megumi and sat down anew. He tried to look angry but Megumi's laughter was contagious and he soon found himself laughing with her. They laughed together for a moment and Kenji felt amazingly good. However, he soon felt he was entering a dangerous terrain, his chuckles menacing to lead to sobs. He forced himself to stop, not willing to explore that uncharted territory.

Megumi sighed,

"Aaah… I thought I would get you to cry but I guess I failed."

Kenji looked at her, puzzled.

"You mean you used precious ice to try to make me cry?"

The fox-lady shrugged.

"It was worth trying."

Her smirk soon faded away to leave room for a worrisome frown. Holding out her hand she invited Kenji to put his in it. Although he had done it countless times in the past, he hesitated. Finally, he decided to decline the invitation. Megumi eventually lowered her hand on his leg, a few centimetres above his knee. He flinched. She gave a small squeeze and removed her hand. Then she looked in front of her and spoke.

"So what are you going to do now?"

The question startled him. To be honest, he hadn't really thought about it.

"I guess… I guess I should go back to Kyoto."

Megumi nodded.

"I see. But will you be satisfied to leave this mystery unsolved?"

Kenji looked at her, his brow furrowed. Could it be that…

"Yes. He told me. Sano-san and I share a very… _special_ relationship."

The boy stared at Megumi, eyes wide open, mouth agape. She laughed.

"I'll let you imagine what you want. Let's just say that he was never my first choice."

She winked. He looked away in disbelief, trying to rid his mind of images he didn't wish to see.

"So this Van Dyke man was not the key to the puzzle. You know we could search for a Dutchman to read this to you. Kenshin can't possibly have talked to all the foreigners in Tokyo. But…"

"But what?"

"But you don't want to do this, don't you?"

He nodded, eyes still lost in the distance.

"Why?"

He sighed, looking down at the book beside him.

"I… I don't know. On the one hand, I'm so frustrated I could burn these things out of spite. Then, on the other, I want to know."

A moment went by.

"Could it be that a part of you wants to understand who Kenshin really was? Could it be that part of you is tired of the hate?"

He didn't reply for he didn't know the answer. Suddenly he shook his head and let out a faint chuckle.

"Even if I was to look for this, I wouldn't know where to start. I don't even know who those kids are or even if they're still alive. Ambassador Van Dyke said someone close to me held the key to the next step but that it would only be revealed un due time. You're not it, are you?"

His hopeful plea made Megumi smile. She shook her head.

He smiled.

"Didn't think so. This is so ridiculous. Maybe I should just burn everything and go back to my old self."

He sighed and gave Megumi a wistful smile.

"Kenji. I know you hate it when we compare you to your father but bear with me this one time. Kenshin used to brood a lot like you, but for different reasons. However he always faced whatever situation that presented itself, no matter how his inner turmoil was bringing him down. He took stupid decision without asking anyone's counsel and always ended up saving the day at his own expense. As a doctor, I can tell you it's a miracle he lived that long."

He looked at her, puzzled. Where was this going?

"So please, I beg you, don't be like him. Rely on us. We may be a little heteroclite, but we're a family. Don't be rash. Think things through and ask us for advice. Talk to us. Talk to me. I don't want anything to happen to you. I was never good enough for him, but I still consider you like my own son."

A tear dropped from her eye and rolled on her cheek. As things started to make sense in his mind, Kenji recoiled from her.

"You… I thought… You were….Your first choice… You, too! You… you _love_ him!"

He spat the last words as if they had been filth polluting his mouth.

"Kenji, no. Don't be like that."

He stood up instinctively grabbed the book and the envelope, as if to protect them.

"I thought you were on my side! I thought you were different! You were blinded by him, too! Just like the others! What did he do that was so special! What is so special about a man who couldn't even spend more than a few weeks with his family? Why do you all love the bastard so much!"

He didn't see it coming. The courtyard resounded with the sound of her open hand hitting his cheek. He looked at her anew, bewildered.

"Don't you ever disrespect him so. I owe your father my life! Is that reason enough to love the man for you? I once had to slap sense back into your mother and I will not hesitate to do the same for you."

These trembling words uttered, she turned heels and left him alone to ponder.

A few days passed during which he did not catch sight of the fox-lady. At first, he thought the best of it, his rage and feeling of betrayal taking over the best of him. Many times, he considered burning everything in the souko and returning to Kyoto without a word to anyone. Actually, as the day had gone by, his idleness had made him feel more and more useless. As life had started again in the house, he had felt more and more uneasy and uncomfortable. At the same time however, he had felt guiltier and guiltier towards Megumi. He still could not forgive her for having betrayed him like that for all those years, yet the sight of her tearful face was burned in his mind and he just couldn't close his eyes without witnessing the hurt in her eyes again and again.

It was on one of these sleepless nights that he got up to take some fresh air. His steps unconsciously led him to Sanosuke's sleeping quarters. He was surprised to find the man sitting on the veranda, drinking sake in the moonlight.

"Osu"

Saying so, he raised his cup to the young man. He gulped down the liquid, letting out an appreciative sound. He then produced a second cup and proceeded to fill both his and the new one, thus inviting Kenji to join him. The red-haired youth sat down, raised his cup to the weird man and drank the content in one trait. He immediately choked.

"Aah. It's bad, isn't it?"

Sanosuke sipped some of the liquid.

"It's been like that since I found him in that little village in China. Sake has tasted like crap ever since."

Kenji had to agree that it was particularly bad. However, he would never admit to the man that he didn't remember ever drinking sake that hadn't tasted bad. He put his cup down and Sanosuke poured him some more.

"I guess you're here because of the fox-lady."

It wasn't a question.

"She said my father saved her life. Is it true?"

The man's raised eyebrow made him nervous.

"I mean, it seems like everyone is saying that. How can't this be?"

Sanosuke leaned back against the post, his arm resting on his raised knee.

"Boy. She speaks the truth. The fox-lady, Jo-chan… I mean your mother, Yahiko, even I, we all owe our lives to him."

"But how can this be! Why did he help you all and…"

Kenji stopped mid-sentence.

"Why did he help us all but left you alone like that?"

He nodded reluctantly.

"Let's just say that we lived in different times. Rougher times. Anyway, you'll find that everyone who respects your father has in a way been saved by him."

"But why can't anyone tell me what he did? Why did he swear everyone to secrecy?"

Sanosuke looked pensive for a moment.

"I guess because all stories are interconnected in some way. Pulling on one thread would bring about the whole ball of yarn. Sorry boy, but I'm not saying more. Who knows, maybe this book your father left you is in some way connected to all this."

They drank in silence for a moment, taking in the beauty of the night sky. After a moment, a question popped in Kenji's mind.

"Sanosuke?"

"Uh?"

"Did Megumi really love my father?"

He nodded, still looking at the sky. In the pallid light of the moon, Kenji could see that his brow was slightly furrowed. He took a sip.

"She loved him alright and I know she still does. However she was wise enough to see that Kenshin loved Kaoru. I think she probably saw it before he would even admit it to himself."

"Do you love her?"

Sanosuked choked on his sake. Kenji smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The missing piece

Kenji spent the next few days alone, taking in the developments of the last few days. As if they had sensed his need to be alone, the others appeared to avoid him. The young boy welcomed this well needed break. His days were spent between training in the early hours of the day and talking long walks all around the city. He ate little but if his stomach was empty, his head was full. At first he had tried to reign them, push them in this direction or that but it had only resulted in more frustration and so he had let his thoughts run free. Surprisingly, that had had a great effect on his mood; he was calmer, more in control of his emotions but mostly, more aware of the true nature of his feelings.

First he had thought of his mother, of how much he had loved her and how much his actions must have caused her unnecessary pain. He had gone to the temple many times to visit and clean her grave. Sometimes he had talked to her, mainly telling her about the mundane activities that occupied his days, but most of the time, he had remained quiet, lost in thoughts. To his great surprise, no tears had sprung from his eyes; no matter how sad he had felt.

Then he had thought about the mysterious book and locket. Inevitably, these thoughts had led him to his father, sometimes making him boil with anger and others making him feel lonely and sad. He still wasn't able to reach an internal consensus regarding Kenshin. He was torn between his usual hate and resentment for the man and this new budding curiosity that kept telling him he was missing a big piece of the puzzle. His pride wouldn't allow him to voice this new feeling but he nevertheless acknowledged it during his long reflections.

On a more practical side, he had long reflected on how to obtain the next clue that would lead him to the answers he sought. He had come to the conclusion that he needed to spend more time with everyone in the house in order to determine who was the most likely to give him what he needed.

Kenji woke up at the break of dawn and after splashing himself with cool well water he then started practicing. However, instead of leaving the house as soon as its inhabitants started stirring, he purposely continued training until he saw Tsubame come out of her room to go prepare breakfast. Surprised to see the young man, she greeted him, flattening her hair with embarrassment. He walked up to her.

"Tsubame nee-san, would you like me to help you?"

She looked at him interrogatively. He cleared his throat.

"I can't really cook but Master made me do many things around the hut. Maybe I could be of some use to you?"

Tsubame shook her head with a sweet smile.

"You don't have to do anything. Just relax."

She made to turn around and go but Kenji grabbed her wrist. She faced him, surprised.

"Nee-san, please. I can't just stay idle all day. I need to do something."

Looking in the boy's pleading eyes the young woman felt a pang. The poor thing. They had let him alone, thinking it would be best for him but in fact, what he really needed was to feel busy. She nodded.

"Ok, well you could bring me some wood for the kitchen fire."

Kenji smiled, releasing his sister-in-law's arm.

Following his first task, Tsubame made Kenji cut some wood, clean the wooden floors of the veranda, wash the bathtub and fill it as well as go to the market to buy some foods. In most of these tasks, the young woman accompanied him and although Kenji wasn't the chatter box, they still managed to have a great time together. That night, when he went to bed, sore and exhausted, the young man slept fitfully for the first time in weeks. The next day, he woke up with the sun again, and after his training, roamed the house to find someone to help. His day was spent cleaning floors with Yahiko's students, running errands and doing many other chores.

Without even noticing, Kenji took great pleasure in these tasks and before long, he forgot the reason he had started doing them. In the process, he managed to get to know Tsubame better, repair his friendship with Yahiko, apologize to Megumi and get to appreciate Sanosuke's rough personality. Time went by quickly and soon, the heat gave way to the first coloured momiji leaves and the cool evening of autumn.

Yahiko was out for the day, teaching at a dojo out of town, Megumi had left for Aizu a few days earlier and Sanosuke was in town, working for the wolf. Kenji and Tsubame, after finishing the usual chores had decided to make the most of the sunny cool day and clean up the souko. They had spent most of the morning taking everything out in the backyard in order to clearly see what needed to be thrown out and were now taking a well deserved break, eating onigiri they had prepared together.

Sitting in the middle of all their possessions, the two of them looked like two dusty ghosts. Tsubame shook her head.

"So many things. It's quite incredible!"

Kenji nodded.

"I hadn't realized we had so much stuff. Do you think we'll manage to get everything back in before night."

The boy dubiously looked at the sky. Tsubame shrugged with a smile.

"It should be ok, but let's get back to work. Can you go to the kitchen and grab the bucket and rags while I take out while I take out whatever's left?"

Kenji smiled and got on his feet.

It took him more time than he had expected to find what he was looking for as the bucket had been used by Yahiko the day before and put away in another spot. When he finally returned to the courtyard he was surprised to see Tsubame sitting on the floor of the souko's entrance, looking at papers, hands trembling. Feeling something was wrong, he dropped the bucket and rags and hurried towards her. He was surprise to see tears in her eyes. He looked at what she was holding. It was one of the clippings he had previously seen. This one was pertaining to the destruction of the temple complex in Kyoto. Another one, next to her, and way much older, mentioned a tragic fire in which a peddler and his wife had lost their lives.

"Nee-san?"

Tusbame looked up at him. As she did, tears rolled out of her eyes on to her cheeks.

"Oh... Kenji..."

Tsubame got up and suddenly embraced the young man, crying softly in the nook of his neck. Taken aback, Kenji stiffened, then, slowly, he put his hands on her back.

The young couple sat on the stone stairs of the souko, elbows resting on the knees. Kenji's head was filled with a million questions but he held them back, giving the woman time to compose herself. He handed her his handkerchief. She took it without a word and dabbed her cheeks and eyes.

"Kenji. I'm sorry I startled you; reading these clippings just brought back so many memories..."

"I looked at a few of them before. Are they...are they connected in some way to my father?"

Tsubame nodded.

"I shouldn't be telling you this but I don't care. I never approved of their hiding the truth from you but I didn't have a choice and I respected Kenshin's choices. But now he's gone and you deserve to know some things. And I don't mean the usual your father loved you things..."

Kenji was riveted to her lips.

"Your father played an important role in the Inshin revolution. He was involved first hand in the fighting. He did things he regretted. He was young as you are now. He was a simple but powerful tool and the hands of those who shaped our lives. "

Kenji listened to this new information with a blank expression. The only thing he could think of was the utterance of Fujita at his father's funeral.

_I awakened the killer in him_.

Killer.

His father had been a killer.

"You mean he was an assassin."

The bluntness of his words made Tsubame uneasy.

"Yes, I guess you could say that."

In Kenji's mind, things were moving fast. Suddenly, events that had been totally unconnected up until now were linked with a frightful clarity. The people looking at him in Kyoto, his master telling him countless times to never get politically involved, Fujita saying he and his father had walked different paths...

The young man found himself half appalled, half fascinated. Only, one detail didn't compute.

"Nee-san. How can my father have been a killer if he wielded a sakabato?"

The word killer made her flinch.

"That's the beauty of Kenshin's life, Kenji. Your father, repenting for what he did during the war, started to wield the sakabato and to help people. This is why your father was always gone, Kenji. He was out helping other, doing good in the world."

"Is this about me understanding and forgiving the man who was out saving the world while his own son needed him?"

As he said these cold words, Tsubame felt that she had chosen the wrong path. Kenji was starting to close his mind to her

She shook her head.

"I wish you would forgive him Kenji, but that is not for me to decide. I only want to help you understand. And that's why I think it's about time I give you this."

Tsubame reached for her obi and took out a small navy pouch. She handed it to the young man. Kenji took it in his hands, still puzzled by his sister-in-law's words. Slowly, he opened the pouch to find a sturdy yellowed piece of rice paper folded in three. Inside, he found a piece of paper with scribbles very similar to the one in the book his father had left him. There was also another photograph of the red haired children. In this once they were but toddlers. He looked at Tsubame.

"How...?"

She sighed and looked in the distance.

"Kenshin gave me this last year before he left for China. I think he knew this was his last mission. When I asked him why me and not Yahiko he didn't explain but just smiled sadly. After seeing Yahiko grief-stricken I know why he gave it to me. Do you mind if I take a look?"

Kenji handed her the document and the picture. She didn't look as surprised as he had expected her to be.

"Do you know these people?"

She shook her head.

"No. But if I definitely think they are related to you. The picture is old, but not that old."

She looked at the back of the picture for a date but found none.

"I think, if they're still alive, that these two are between ten and fifteen years older than you."

"What about the other paper?"

"That's an address Kenji. An address in the Netherland."


End file.
